So Long Sarah...
Recently, I have really been struggling with trying to figure out my purpose here in Auburn. For a while, I have just really felt like my time here had come to an end and it was time to move on to new things. New places, new people, new church, new EVERYTHING!! I really felt like I needed to go some place where noone knew me and just start anew; a fresh start. I spent several days re-evaluating my purpose and really felt like my time here had come to an end. But then, I got some wise words from a close friend and a new perspective on the issue at hand...my purpose in Auburn.
While speaking with a friend, who had spent several days in prayer about the matter on my behalf, my eyes were opened to a new perspective. Maybe I am done here. "I" being the key word. I am done, but God is not. God is not done with me and the only way for Him to work in me is for me to be no more. No more Sarah, just God. It is time for me to say goodbye to myself and allow God to use me here and I think all this "moving on" stuff was really just Satan's way of making me think that running away from a difficult situation would solve the problem. But it won't! God needs me here. I do have a purpose. My purpose is God's glory alone.
This Tuesday, I went to FAITH class with Terri Leigh and I am so glad that I got to go. Of all things, we talked about how Satan uses our own minds and thoughts to create spiritual warfare. How ture is that! The only reason Satan knows what we are thinking and is able to play his mind games on us is because we let him! We let him know our thoughts and he just twists them around and uses them to make us think crazy things!! Satan is deceptive and scheming and will do whatever he can to hurt us. We can't let him know our thoughts. We must guard our minds and hearts against the enemy.
After speaking with my friend and learning ways to not allow the enemy into my mind, I really started to think about the effect, negative, that I would have on Auburn by leaving. Now, don't get me wrong, I am not praising myself in any way, but I believe that there are people here that count on me and need me here. For instance, I know for a fact that there are 5 youth girls that know and love me and count on me each week to lead them and disciple them. What would they do if I just up and left? It would be so unfair to them for me to just selfishly leave them without a second thought or a reason. They are my purpose. And what about my 4-year-olds? Everyday, I step into the classroom and help teach 10 children about the world, about the Lord, about themselves. Watching and helping them learn each day is such a blessing to me. It brings me great joy to hear them recite Scripture and watch their faces as they learn new Bible stories and songs. What would they do if I just up and left? That wouldn't be fair to them, to their parents, or to my fellow teachers. They are my purpose.
These two things alone are part of my purpose in Auburn. My ulimate goal and reason for existance in life is to give God glory. It is glorifying to the Father when I lead my girls each week and my 4-year-olds each day. I do have a purpose and regardless of where I am, that will never change. God has called me here and I am prepared to stay here and do His work until my time here is done. Its not about me, my pride, my feelings, or my selfishness, it's all about JESUS! I pray that I will be content with where God has me and be grateful for the opportunities that He gives me each day. My city, state, surroundings, and situations will change, but my purpose never will. Make me aware of Your goodness and sovreignty. You are worthy of glory. God is so good.... :)
