Pretty Much Addicted (again)...

The other day, I was randomly inspired to turn on some Bethany Dillon! A few summers ago I found myself quite addicted to her music, it's pretty amazing and solid. Well, I am at that point again. I basically can't wait to wake up in the morning and hit play on the laptop while I am in my apartment. When I am in the car, the cd(s) plays. When I am in a public place and have access to my computer, the ear buds find their proper position. I am hooked...again. God is good....

Exodus - by Bethany Dillon

Come, come fallen ones
Dance in the healing stream
He has faithfully kept you
Brought you out of captivity

Rejoice, rejoice with all your hearts
Sing Him a new song
That’s heard high on the windswept mountains
It will resound

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful
Our God is faithful

Reflect, reflect on all your days
You weren’t so free then
Once you were all called slaves
But now, blessed children

Move, move your feet
Dance before the Lord
On to the Promised Land
On to your reward, sing

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful
Our God is faithful

Our enemies are at the bottom of the sea, our enemies
Our enemies are at the bottom of the sea, our enemies

Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful
Lead, Lord, with unfailing love
Those that You have ransomed
And we will sing out as we go on
Our God is faithful
Our God is faithful
Our God is faithful
Our God is faithful

Convicting Resolutions...

Yesterday, when I woke up, I just knew it would be one of "those days." Girls, specifically those about my age or older, you know what I am talking about. Just one of those days when getting out of bed really only makes things worse. Why?! Well, for some reason, I ran across a verse days prior in Proverbs 18, and when I woke up yesterday, that verse was screaming loud in my ear and it just put me in a bad mood! Ha. Verse 22 states, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." Now, I know you ask, "Why, Sarah, did this verse make you mad?" Well, daggum, some days I just wake up and think to myself "I WANT TO BE FOUND!" But, rather than just go back to bed, I continued with my day. And praise the LORD!!

Later that afternoon, I started a new book that I actually got for my birthday, but have not yet had time to read, The Unwavering Resolve of Jonathan Edwards by Dr Steven Lawson. Now, Jonathan Edwards has always been one of my favorite men of the faith. And I have done a few studies on him, but this book, I must say, is exceptional!! But, the LORD used my time in this book yesterday to put quite the conviction on my heart regarding the aforementioned complaint! While reading some history on the life of Edwards, when telling of his death, just months following the death of his son-in-law, his wife, Sarah, wrote a letter to their daughter, who had now lost her father and husband. Sarah's words are compelling and challenging. For one, what does a mother say to comfort her daughter in the the loss of the 2 most important men in her life, all the while Sarah is grieving the loss of her husband. These are her words...

"My very dear child, What shall I say? A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. O that we may kiss the rod, and lay out hands upon our mouths! The Lord has done it. He has made me to adore His goodness, that we had him so long. But my God lives; and He has my heart. O what a legacy my husband, and your father, has left us! We are all given to God; and there I am, and love to be."

Umm, HELLO!! Did you catch that. In the midst of great grief, Sarah Edwards proclaims that her heart belongs to the LORD!! Wow! What a thought. There are days that I wonder what the prolonging may be. Then, there are moments like these, when I sit on my couch and read such truth, that I remind myself how stupid I sound! Do I want to be found? Well, sure. But too often I forget that I have already been sought out! The LORD has my heart, and should He see fit to share it with someone else, well in His timing it will be perfect. I mean, I didn't even have an opportunity to discover Edwards' resolutions before the LORD used his dear wife to convict my heart. Pray for contentment. God is, in fact, great.....

Peace of Mind...

And the peace of God, which surpasses
all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7

Hello all. (I am not thoroughly convinced yet that there are many, or any for that matter, of you, other than my mom who is and will always be my biggest fan, that actually still read this, but I will proceed just in case.) It’s Monday, June 1, and as I type this I am still jobless and relentlessly looking. There are tons of resumes and applications with my name on them within a 5 mile radius of my apartment and yet, I sit and wait for the phone to ring. And it frustrates me. Please continue to pray that the LORD will provide a job for me in the very near future. While I trust Him, I don’t think my bills or the companies that expect those bills will accept that as payment. I have just never found it to work that way.

So, I will, in about one hour, make one of the biggest decisions of my academic career and I have quite the peace about it. About 3 posts ago, I expressed to each of you that I was on the threshold of officially applying to the AU Social Work program. That official application process consisted of several letters of recommendation, a 4-page personal statement, and a formal interview. I also listed several ways that each of you could be praying for me specifically within the process of application. Well, the Monday after returning to Auburn from my short vacation home, I turned in all my paperwork and the following Tuesday, I completed my formal interview with my departmental advisor, Angie. For the most part, the interview went quite well. I was challenged on several of the questions, one in particular (ask me about it if you want to know), but I stayed true to myself and the feel like I honored the LORD in my answers and attitude. At one point, I was even given an interview “gold star” because I answered a very hard question with complete honesty, which Angie went on to tell me was quite contrary to how most students would answer. She was impressed that I had the audacity to be honest when I knew it was the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear. Praise the LORD that He gives grace for the moment to reveal Himself through my character. All I want to do is honor Him. And I feel that I made that quite clear in my interview.

With all that said, today, I feel the LORD leading me to now officially withdraw my program application and finish my degree in Sociology. I know what you are all thinking. And the answer is no, to all! No, it will not extend my time at Auburn. I can complete my degree in 6 classes, and will still graduate in May because this degree does not require an internship for graduation. And no, I don’t feel like I am making a big mistake. I feel that the LORD has prepared my heart to make this decision and that it is not a rash choice. Late Wednesday night, I just couldn’t rest my heart on the matter. I did a little research and a lot of praying, over the next 4 days, and I honestly feel this is the LORD. I have said in weeks past that I don’t really know what the LORD is up to, but I feel like He has started preparing me for something big, and I truly believe this may be part of that. I don’t know that I have ever felt this “unanxious” regarding such a huge decision in my life. He has really provided quite the peace about it and I am ready to trust His leading. And last, but not least, no, I do not know what I will do with a sociology degree. I do know that I can do essentially the same thing with a degree in sociology that I could have done with a degree in social work, I just won’t have a BSW behind my name. This opens opportunities in social services, public relations, business administration, etc. (Plus we all know that I really hope I don’t have to use my degree a whole lot in my life, that is just not the desire of my heart!) Either way, pray for continued peace. Pray that, above all, my eyes and heart will stay fixed on Him.

There are other things in my life. To which I will not discuss on this post, that you can each be praying about. I may post on that later, but don’t count on it at this point!! (Sorry, some things just need to remain a mystery!) But you can be praying for clarity in those aspects. Pray that the LORD would guide my heart and mind in the way He would have it go and that I would accept that as good and follow His leading faithfully. Thank you to each of you for your commitment to me. I am blessed. God is good…

For God is not a God of confusion
but of peace...
1 Corinthians 14:33

Just Been Eating At Me....

So, as I watched television tonight, I found myself more and more frustrated with what I saw and heard. I, along with millions in America, tuned in to TLC's "Jon & Kate Plus 8" season opener and it was quite the "nail biter." It has been broadcast and advertised for weeks that this show would address the growing marital tension between the parents, who are both in the midst of tabloid gossip and paparazzi swarms for rumors of infidelity and scandal. I will admit, I watched the show because I wanted to know what would happen. I wanted to hear their stories. And as we all know, everyone has their own side of every story. And to be completely honest, I was sickened by the things I heard and saw.

It is no secret to most people that know me, I tend to give most people the benefit of the doubt most of time. Unless I know something especially destructive about someone, I will give them their fair opportunity to remain "innocent until proven guilty." Call it a flaw if you will, that's just how I am. So, I was willing to hear them out. Individually and corporately. And my conclusion is THEY ARE BOTH GUILTY!!

I have never had a negative thought toward the show in general. That is their way, as parents, to provide for their children a life that they never had themselves. They have gained tons of exposure as producers, writers, and speakers through the process, and that is fine. I have, however, always thought that there was a lack of mutual respect between the parents and that one in particular, requires perfection from 9 other people that will NEVER be perfect. I have noticed a lack of support in past years and quite the persistent use of "I," "I," "I" from the two lead characters. I feel, that may be what has landed them in the position they currently find themselves. And this is what I think..........

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith,
act like men, be strong.
1 Corinthians 16:13

STAND UP FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!! I sat on the edge of my seat tonight, wanting SO BADLY to hear one of these two adults, who claim Christ on their show and in conferences that they speak at, to express to the world that divorce is not and never will be an option for their family. Honestly, I know I am not married and have never found myself any of their positions, but even now, as a single college student, I am taking a stand for my own marriage in the future. Divorce, regardless of the situation I find myself and my spouse in, will NEVER be an option. It is off the table. It was never on the table. And it sickens me that so many people, especially those that publicly claim Christ as the Head of their marriage and their own personal lives, even entertain the idea of divorce. And while it seems commendable that both of the parents have vowed that they are "in it" for their children, children are NOT the most important aspect of a marriage. Yes, they play a big role and it is important to keep them a priority, but marriage is FAR bigger! Deciding to just "do what you gotta do" to make sure the kids are ok is not acceptable to me. The LORD commands us to "train a child in the way he should go." Imagine the lessons your sons are learning about becoming leaders and husbands who love their wives the way Christ loved the church. Imagine the lessons your daughters are observing about becoming a submissive wife of noble character. What example are we setting to the world?! We are to be in the world, not of it!!

I know this sounds like a soapbox, but it is far more than that! This is my challenge to each of you, married or not. COMMIT YOUR WAY (and marriage) TO THE LORD!! There will be trials, we can be certain of that, but it is not ok as a child of the LORD to just lay down and die. It is not ok to just accept the way of the world and give in to that. Make a commitment now, whether you are already married, happily or unhappily, or thinking about marriage, or single and hoping one day for that reality, commit to commit, 100%. Trust the LORD that He is in control. That you will not allow the things of this world to influence your decisions, rather, you will through prayer and thought, allow the LORD to lead you and your spouse in your marriage and your corporate pursuit of Him. And in that, you will learn how to lead your family in an eager pursuit of Christ, as a unit.

Ok, I am done now. Sorry if you think I was mean, it's just weighing heavy on my heart. Get it together Christians!! God is good.... :)

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord,
urge you to walk in a manner worthy
of the calling to which you have been called,
with all humility and gentleness,
with patience, bearing with one another in love,
eager to maintain the unity of
the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3

As Far As I've Gotten.....

So, for those of you that do not know, I have left my job at All American. Last week was just a horrible week, for numerous reasons, and Monday morning, following a lengthy discussion, my time there had come to an end. My first response was fear and tears. Not gonna lie, I am scared to death. How does one pay bills without a job? My second response, go home!! My vacation was already scheduled to begin on Thursday, so I decided this morning that I would just extend that and spend some extra time with my family. They mean so much to me and I have MISSED them this semester. Praise the Lord that He provides a safe haven for me to be surrounded by love and support. My third, and lasting, response, "I don't know what I am going to do. Trust the Lord is about as far as I have gotten." And that is what I am prepared to do. He is not a provider, He is THE provider. All I have is His. He gives and takes away at His discretion. I have learned so much in my time at this job, but I honestly feel the Lord is preparing me for something more, something way bigger than monograms!! And I am excited to see that play out. He is good and what He does is good. I have been consistently reminding myself today, "my good, His glory."

As I drove home southbound on 65 today, through tear soaked eyes, I had the Gettys playing. A while back, the Lord lead me to their song Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer. I fell in love with it and have had opportunity to pass that along to others in midst of struggles. I am reminded of His faithfulness when I hear the song. Praise the Lord that He is now able to use the song in my life in this time. What an encouragement. The words are amazing but they really don't do it justice without the music. I would encourage you to find the song online (their myspace page for example) and listen to it. Pray for me in this time of job search. I want to honor the Lord. Also please continue to pray for the requests in my last post! Thanks so much. God is GOOD.....

Jesus draw me, ever nearer
As I labor through this storm.
You have called me to this passing,
And I'll follow though I'm worn.

May this journey, bring a blessing.
May I rise on wings of faith.
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.

Jesus guide me through the tempest
Keep my spirit staid and sure.
When the midnight meets the morning,
Let me love You even more.

May this journey, bring a blessing.
May I rise on wings of faith.
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.

Let the treasures of the trial,
Form within me as I go.
And at the end of this long passing,
Let me leave them at Your throne.

May this journey, bring a blessing.
May I rise on wings of faith.
And at the end of my heart's testing,
With Your likeness let me wake.

May This Journey Bring A Blessing....

**Ladies and gentlemen (if there are actually any people that read this thing), I would like to apologize for my inconsistencies in the blogging arena the past 18 months. Thanks for your understanding. Life gets crazy far too quickly! So, on with it.**

Yesterday, as I sat in my policy class, which for those of you that are not on my "call regularly to vent" list, you should ask me later about that class, this overwhelming feeling of conclusion hit me. As I sat in my desk, completing volunteer applications for my summer class, it occurred to me that I have about 12 months left in Auburn and those 12 months cannot go by quickly enough. Hear my heart on this.

I LOVE Auburn. And had you asked me 6 years ago if I would ever in my life utter those words, well most you can answer that without hesitation. But this place, this foreign land, has grown on me. I stood my ground for about 3 rebellious years. But I caved. And when I did, I found my heart smitten for this place. I LOVE IT! Period. I love my church, I love the people, I opportunities this town provides, and I love the experience. And I should hope, and tend to honestly believe, that Auburn, in turn, loves me. It has been said that if you love something you have to be able to let it go. I sure hope Auburn lets me go. Because, while I love Auburn, its people, its beauty, its serenity, you name it, I am SO READY to be gone from this place.

As I sat in class, I found myself recounting all the events that have brought me to this conclusion. In 6 years, I have been challenged in every aspect, spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, professionally, and academically. Without hesitation, I can say that this semester has been the most challenging academically thus far. Now, my classes are not hard, per se, but I have been reminded on a daily basis, that this world is not my home. The further I dive into my major and get closer to graduation, the deeper I find myself engulfed with and hardened toward the sins of those around me. Don't get me wrong, the Lord has used Auburn in mighty ways to draw me unto Himself and teach me how to keep my focus on the cross of Christ in all situations, but this semester has been a challenge in the "love those that persecute you" aspect. I have been beaten and bruised for the truth of God's Word on a consistent basis within my major. And while I praise the Lord for giving me the courage to fight the battles day in and day out, one can only imgine how exhausted I have become. Within this semester alone, 15 weeks, I have written 6 papers, totalling over 100 pages of body text, one of those being a 67-page research proposal . To some of you, that may not sound like much. But that was just the paper assignments for 3 of my 4 classes. That doesn't include the mid-terms or regular tests or any of the homework or article analysis that I have also turned in. All while working 2 jobs, 40 hours a week and extracuricular acivities. I don't want your pity. I want you to understand my exhaustion. I need your help.

I need your prayers. Plain and simple. You ask, "how, Sarah, can we be praying specifically?" Well, I can answer that!!! (funny how that works) Other than the first 2 requests, these are in no particular prioritzed order. ha.

1- Within in the next few weeks, I will be officially applying to the Auburn University Social Work Program. The process is strenuous, requiring a personal statement (essay), several letters of recommendation, and a formal interview. Should I not be accepted into the program, I cannot complete this degree that I have so dilligently worked for. Please DO NOT pray specifically for my acceptance. Rather, I want to honor the Lord. Most, if not all, of the faculty members in SOWO have taught me in one or more classes. I was challenged at the beginning of my career within this major (known for all of its paper-writing) to share the gospel in each paper I write. I have, only by the Lord's grace, met that challenge head on for 3 years. Please pray that within my personal statement and interview that I will continue to honor the Lord. I have a very liberal and lost faculty. Pray that I will stand courageous to proclaim Christ in this application process, and that the Lord's will for my life will be made clear and complete, social work degree or not.
Psalm 37:5 -- Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him and He will act.

2- Pray for the unhardening of my heart. I confess that I have grown apathetic toward the sins of others. Through no fault but my own, my heart has grown hard toward sinners within my field of study. For instance, but not limited to, homosexuals. I am constantly reminding myself that Christ shed His precious blood for them as well and my sin is no better than their sin. I have lost interest in sharing the Truth, and in turn, have found my heart apathetic to their sin and the reality of their eternity. I know the Lord has a plan for me in this. Pray that I will take on the character of Christ in Paul, desiring to willingly offer my salvation of the behalf of the lost around me within my major.
Romans 9:3 -- For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.

3- Pray that the Lord would fill me with energy to complete the work He started. Through many circumstances in my life, the Lord has cultivated within me a heart for service toward other people. He is good. What He does is good. He has called me to this place. He will complete it masterfully. But without Him, all of this is in vain. I am empty. Pray that He will fill me to overflowing and focus my heart on completing the task.
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 --We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.

4- Pray that the Lord would fill me with contentment for the next 12 months. In my 6 years in Auburn, I have never been so homesick. I wish to be with my family more than I can be. I wish to be away from this city. I do not want to be home in Mobile, but I want to get away from Auburn. Pray that the Lord would break my heart for the work that He still has for me here. That His Word will be my home. And that in Him, I will be content to dwell, regardless of where I rest my head. I am in alien, in all senses of the term.
James 1:4 -- And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

There are more ways you can be praying, but these are the most important. The Lord has been good to me. I have complete confidence that the Lord will continue to be good to me. It has not been easy. He never promised that. May I fix my eyes on Him as He perfects me. Thank you friends and loved ones. First, for reading this. I am more than 100% positive there are more interesting topics in the world, thanks for choosing me. Second, thanks for your eternal investment in me. Your prayers have lifted me and sustained me thus far, thank you all for your faithful intercession. And lastly, thanks to each of you for loving me, but better than that, reminding me of that love daily. I am so blessed. God is so good.... :)

In the Thicket...

And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold,

behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns.

Genesis 22:13

Have you ever had something that you thought was so great, something that only the Lord would bring into your life, and then all the sudden He asks for you to sacrifice that very thing? Yeah, well I'm there! And this is what I have to say about it. God is GOOD! He is faithful. HE IS ENOUGH FOR ME!

That said, I know it has been a while since I posted. I had every intention about 2 months ago to post and report on the lessons that I learned from the Word this summer, but things are just hectic...get over it! So, now you get a double whammy. What I learned this summer combined with how the Lord is teaching me to apply that knowledge presently.

For starters, I am good! School is going well, just trying to keep my head above water and still on track to graduate next May (2009). I am determined to get that diploma if it kills me! haha! Secondly, this summer. The overwhelming lesson that I learned this summer is that regardless of the things that will, or will not, happen in my life, whether all of my "dreams" come true or not, whether any of the things that I think I want or need for my life happen, the LORD is enough for me. I have reached such a stage of contentment with WHO He is. Alot of times, I felt I was looking past WHO He is and trying to find WHAT He is doing, but I have learned that I don't need a what, HE is enough. I find rest in Him alone. Period.

That said, it has been an eventful semester thus far. The Lord has really been challenging me, today more than ever, to live that lesson out. More than anything else, I want my actions to reflect my heart and words. I want to live a life that is refletive of His hand on me. Today, really last night, is the test of all these things. What will my next action be. Its time for the next thing. No dwelling, no sobbing, no looking back, only looking at Him, waiting for Him. And trust me, He is well worth the wait!

I am currently in a study of the Bible that allows me to read it chronologically as it was written. I am LOVING this study. This past week, I was able to study one of my favorite Bible stories, and for it to be one of my favs, I learned so many new concepts from it. I understand it on such a different level now. Even more so today, seeing that I feel the Lord calling me to practice what I have learned. Reading from Genesis 22, Abraham is asked to sacrfice his only son, Isaac, the promised child. The child that he and Sarah have waited YEARS for, now God wants him to kill him!? WHAT THE CRAP?! So, this is what I learned. First, it's important to see that Abraham obeyed the Lord immediately. He didn't waste time trying to rationalize, He just trusted God enough to obey. Secondly, I thought about what could have possibly been going on in Abraham's mind as he was binding his son to the wood and as he raised his hand to kill Isaac, the whole time Isaac is just asking, "Hey dad, where is the sacrifice?" Whoa!! I can't even imagine! But Abraham was focused on one thing, obedience. Thirdly, God provided in the thicket! And that got me thinking, what is it in my life that the Lord is calling for me to sacrifice for Him, only to prove Himself faithful to provide in the thicket?! **It was not a surprise to God that Abraham obeyed, it was more of a test for Abraham, God already knew what his response would be!**

Sacrifice is not easy, nor does the Lord promise that you will ever get that particular thing back, but He does promise to never leave or forsake us. He promises that He will be faithful when we are faithless. He promises us that if we delight in Him, in Him alone, He will give the desires of our heart. So, what is my sacrifice? Well, at this point in my life, it is a relationship with a very special person. As much as it sucks to be so invested and so sure that what you are doing is right, and that things are going great, it is so much cooler to trust God. We are choosing to obey His leading and trust Him to be enough for us, separately. We were content with and excited about where He was leading us, but we are even more content to be obedient and sensitive to His leadership now. Someone said to me, "things were going so great!" Well, just because things aren't going how you want, doesn't mean things aren't going great! We are ok. He is enough! Before, during, and after, He is enough. We serve a big God, a God who single-handedly placed every star in the sky. If He is that big, He can most definitely handle this. He is leading, we are following. That is all. Please be in prayer for widom and discernment. God is so good....... :)