Certain Uncertainty...

The heart of man plans his way,

but the Lord establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

As I approach the end of this semester and begin the upward climb into my senior year (!!!!!) of college, I have gotten alot of questions about my future lately. And to be quite honest, that word (senior) and those questions, they SCARE me big time! For me to be so close to the end, I don't feel like I know any more about my future than I did when I started a few years ago. So, needless to say, I feel somewhat anxious and overwhelmed when I get questions like "What are your plans after graduation?" and "How long have you been interested in this field as a career?" And honestly, I don't know exactly how to answer questions like that, which I think may be the cause of my anxiety.

For those of you who know me, you know that all I have ever wanted for my life was a family. I want to be a wife and submit to and serve my husband. I want to be a mom and serve and teach my children. I want my husband to be a man of great integrity and known in our town as a man of incredible faith and discipline in the Word of God. I want the next great wave of preachers and missionaries to come from my home. I want my home to a place of worship, all hours of the day. I want the world to look upon my family and not see me or my husband or my children, but to see our pursuit to be more like Christ. May they look at us and see the cross that offers grace and hope and peace. I want my family to be a living, breathing representation of the power of Jesus Christ to save! Those are my plans after graduation.

But did you catch that all-important word in the last sentence you read? That is what I want. But at what point in Scripture does Jesus Christ ask my opinion about what I want? Oh that's right...NEVER! So, for now, I am learning how to wait. I am learning how to focus all of my attention on the cross and throne of Christ and waiting for Him to lead me in the right direction. I am learning how to trust the Lord with ALL my heart. I am learning how to be content with being single. I am learning how to apply the Word of God to my life now, so that when the time comes for me to be and do all of those things that I listed above, I will know how to do it from a Biblical, God-centered, Christ-exalting standpoint. I am learning how to be more like Jesus, which in turn will allow me to be the "wife of noble character" that I so desire to be. I am just me, just learning, just trusting, just loving, just waiting, just allowing Jesus to prepare me for the next season of life. Jenn Stinn once said, "The best way to be prepared for what God has for you in the future, is to be walking with the Lord today!" That pretty much sums it up! I am just trying to allow the Lord to prepare my heart for the plans He has for me after graduation. Pray for me! God is so good... :)