Happy Day...

I don't think I will ever forget the sequence of events. I didn't know then, but I see now that God's hand was over all that took place. And all of it was for His glory alone and the advancement of His Kingdom. In the midst of great hardship, God revealed Himself as the one, true, living, merciful, and gracious God who is capable of saving the entire world. Not only is He capable, but He has already provided the means and is longing for intimate followers. And when I say longing, I don't mean "in need," but rather, seeking out, pursuing those that He longs to call Beloved. Here is my story.....

I don't think there is a single American that has yet forgotten that day. Where I sat and my first reactions have forever been etched in my mind. I remember it like it just happened. First period had just ended and as I walked into homeroom, I just had a gut feeling that things weren't right. There was a buzz around the campus that I had never noticed before. I sat down and my classmates began reporting what they had heard and seen on television and radio. My first reaction, "That is a sick joke!" Then, our principal came over the PA and made the announcement that, yes, in fact, our nation had come under attack. The mood on my high school campus was quite somper and real for the remainder of the day.

The first stop I made on my way home from school that day was to my youth pastor's home. You see, his wife, Paula, and I were prayer partners and I really just had some pressing matters that needed to be made known. There was not a soul that knew, but prior to the attacks on 9/11, I had been seriously struggling with my salvation. I mean, I was the last person you would expect to hear that from. So, I continued my role as "Christian" and totally ignored my struggles and continued to live for myself while claiming Chirst in my everyday life. In pursuit to "prove" my salvation to my church body, I rose and headed to the microphone at a church-wide prayer meeting the Wednesday after the attacks. That's right, hundreds had just lost their lives and so many more were hurting and here we were to meet and pray for the heart of our country and its leaders and the most important thing to me was ME! Prideful and ready to show everyone how "spiritual" I was, I prayed using big words and Bible terms, and secretly, I gave myself a nice little pat on the back as I walked back to my seat. And for me to have prayed such an "amazing" prayer that evening, there is only one phrase I can remember. At one point, I said "Thank you, God, for our second chances." Not really knowing what I was talking about, in the weeks to come, that phrase rang so true as God's story of salvation in my life unfolded.

In the next several weeks, still avoiding the matter at hand (my salvation), life was not fun! God used every sermon, every Sunday School lesson, every song on Christian radio, etc. to convict me of sin. Slowly, but very surely, in His own timing, He was drawing me to the end of myself and into His light. Then, only because I thought I would get a break from all the conviction, I attended a youth prayer meeting one Wednesday evening. As I sat in the room that we affectionately called "The Upper Room," God used a faithful servant's prayer to open my eyes and break the wall of sin that I had so neglected to acknowledge. As Ben prayed, he quoted Matthew 7:21-23, and I knew that was me. God had just used Ben to paint a very clear picture of my life. I was the one that walked an aisle and was baptized at age 9, came to church every opportunity available, claimed Christ when I was with other believers, but lived for myself when I was alone. And in that moment, I knew that I was a sinner and I had never made Him Lord of my life. It was there, on Wednesday, Nov 7, 2001, in all my weakness that I cried out for my Father. I humbled myself and fell to the foot of His cross and cried out for mercy. And it was in that humility that I found grace and mercy and redemption. In that moment, I was clothed with Christs' righteousness for eternity! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!

Now, looking back over the past 5 years, I can't say that it has always been great. But I can say, it has definately been worth it! If I had 1000 lives to live, I would give every one of them to Jesus! He has changed my life. I can't imagine that I would be here today if that night hadn't happened. And I am so grateful to my Jesus for not leaving me. I tried so hard to run away, but He tried harder to win my heart. He has done it. And the fact that He puts up with me, that blows my mind! He is so faithful and good. He deserves all the praise and glory for seeking me out and providing me with my second chance. What a mighty God we serve! God is so good.... :)

The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as

some count slowness, but is patient

toward you, not wishing that any should perish,

but that all should reach repentance.

2 Peter 3:9